Look for the Ocean

 

This thought has been circling in my brain for a while now and I couldn’t wait to share it with you.

If you’re the big fish in your pond, it’s time to look for the ocean. Click to tweet.  Our circle of friends, associates and colleagues can become a comfortable place over time. Every now and then we need to evaluate our circle. Are we being challenged to grow? Are the conversations provoking us to change? Are we being inspired by the daring moves the people in our circle are making? Are we being held accountable for the goals that we have set? Is there a healthy exchange when something good happens for anyone in the group? Let’s be clear, this is not about getting rid of everyone in your life. That would be immature. We need people. But, it is about performing an x-ray on your circle of influence. These are the people that get the first look at your personal development, decisions, and next steps. It’s critical.

I know that some of us have been taught to keep our circles small and by default we have made the doorway to the center of ourselves narrow. While, I understand the logic to a certain degree; I also, see the gaps in the theory. Sometimes it’s extremely crucial to open the door wide to allow the people you NEED in your life to enter. It can be intimidating and awkward at first, but it gets better.

The first time you’re in a conversation with a known millionaire and you haven’t earned six figures yet, it’s likely to be very uncomfortable.  Some of the dialogue may be over your head. You may start to doubt why you’re even in the room. By the second or third conversation, you’ve had time to google a few of the terms….it’s still awkward but you’ll start to feel like if they can be a millionaire, then perhaps you can too! That’s the beauty of the ocean. Ocean swimming can be intimidating, even for a skilled swimmer. The ocean is a place for big fish. You’ll never find a marlin twirling around on the shore. You’ll have to go to where they are. This is called deep water fishing and it only happens in the ocean.

Success thrives in open spaces. You must be open to experience something new. Click to tweet. New people. New conversations. New experiences. New connections. New thought patterns. New business models. You will be challenged. Some of the new influencers in your life may question some of your choices and challenge you to think bigger. Quite frankly, these are the types of people that you want in your circle. Jim Rohn said it this way, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you are always giving, giving and giving and the people are always taking, taking, taking……it’s not a friendship….it’s a transaction. You’re an ATM. (Automated Teller Machine) They are automatically telling you what to do. It’s time to survey your circle.

Pull out your journal and answer these questions.

Who are your top 5?

What is their contribution to your life?

What value do you give to their life?

Do they challenge you to be better?

Are they excited when you win?

Do you gain inspiration from the decisions that they make regarding their life?

Now, examine your answers and determine if it’s time to find the ocean?

In my next blog, I’ll talk a little more about the types of people I believe that everyone should have in their circle. My answer may surprise you.

It’s time to take a deep dive. You were made for big waves. The ocean awaits you.

Your friend and coach,

About Me Stacey

Stacey Joseph Harris

 

 

 

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Becoming Resilient

Ok, let’s be honest here. Life isn’t always a bed of roses or 65 degrees and sunny. Sometimes there are occasional relationship thorns and decisions covered by overcasts and clouds. Giving in to the pressure is easier than we are willing to admit at times. So, how do you bounce back when you feel like each day keeps knocking the wind out of you? Well, can we first acknowledge that if you recall another day rolling around you didn’t go without wind for long? Yeah, that’s the power of a resilient mind. A mind that bounces back and refuses to stay down for long.

Resilient people have a different perspective about things. You know the friend you’ve labeled as Ms. Optimistic. She sees the good in everything. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Life is always showing in her favorite color. Well, perhaps she’s not just optimistic. She’s resilient. Over the years, I’ve experienced very hard times and times when it seemed like I was soaring. I had to learn to be resilient in both seasons. Resilience says that this doesn’t have to be the end. I know there’s a beginning underneath these circumstances. There’s a much bigger transaction taking place. I shouldn’t settle for what’s whirling around on the surface.

Resilient people train their thoughts to seek alternatives. In Project Passion Mentoring Institute, one month is centered on uncovering the counterproductive thoughts that hinder growth. We have control over our thoughts.  Our brains are trainable. We can teach our brain to seek alternatives by evaluating the thoughts that enter our mind and deciding which thoughts get to stay. In the good times, I’ve had to bounce back from the cynical thought that “something bad may come along and spoil this moment.” In the not so good times, I’ve had to bounce back from the sneaky thought that “this season is never going to end”. I had to replace each of those thoughts with truth. For example, if something good is happening in my life, I should choose to be fully engaged and present in the moment. It won’t be the last time I’ll experience that goodness, but I could miss out on it right now by giving attention to something that has NOT happened. When it comes to your thoughts, start by asking yourself two questions: 1) Is this true? 2) Is this thought helping me? Then you need to replace the thought with a true and helpful thought.

Resilient people embrace change. It’s easier to embrace change when you expect it. Life simply doesn’t happen in a straight line. There are often detours, rerouting, U-turns and new paths altogether. You should expect it! You should expect that sometimes the only way that you can experience growth in your life is when things start to change. The change increases your capacity. It stretches you and ultimately positions you to experience more than you ever could have if things would have stayed the same.

Resilient people have options. When one door closes, resilient people believe wholeheartedly that they will be turning the knob of another door soon enough. They don’t expect things to happen one way. Their approach to life involves problem solving, reasoning, earnest expectation, compromise and opportunity. So, yes 2 + 2 = 4
but 8 – 4 = 4 and so does 36/9. There are many ways to get there, they just need to look for the options.

Becoming resilient is the antidote for mediocre living. You can bounce back. Get up from there…I hear you breathing!

About Me Stacey

Stacey Joseph Harris